Thank you

I'm starting to feel a sense of melancholy; that life is very beautiful and yet very horrendous at the same time. I feel like my time is limited, everyone's is, so I have to make the most out of it. I try to appreciate all the tiny things but it can be overwhelming to absorb that much information. This world is very big and confusing to wrap our mind around. I am only 18 but I feel like I am 30 years older sometimes. I sit down and imagine the past, the present and the future. 

People only see what I put on the internet, so if I sound whiny or feely, so be it. Sometimes I get a big urge to write and I do it. This is not to gain sympathy or anything, this is a way of expression and I'm doing it in english on social networks (I also adore how 'you' can mean one person or a lot of people) - I am only rings in the water made by a small stone in the entire sea of the internet, if you know what i mean. It's okay to judge me, but at least see things from more perspectives than your own. 

I want people to know me better without actually having to go find me in real life. I want you to see what I see, sometimes, because most of the time, I am the alien girl in the crowd, nervous and otherworldly - a small ball of energy.

I enjoy the great moments in life, but I also enjoy the downsides... I love the darkness, I love the failure, I love the scandals, the weird, the ugly, the crazy, the different, the fallen, the evil, the blood, the tears, the scars... because it is a reminder of humanity... but it can feel SO alone walking that path, and it is often very unhealthy. 

I thank everyone who has ever supported me, smiled at me, laughed with me, shared with me and talked with me, it's unbelievably important to me, no matter who you are, where you are from or what you do. You make things get better, you make me stand up. I wish to return the favor whenever needed. You are a reason for happiness tears. I wish you an awesome future. Thank you.